The second song attempts to get closer to country motifs by speaking of years of tears but the twist here seems contrived and this can only be because a country song may draw attention to its words when it’s a novelty number such as “I’ve Been Everywhere Man” where the singer lists off all the towns he’s been to in a musical manner. You can even spell out a word – such as D.I.V.O.R.C.E. – and keep the listener focused on the fact that this is about parents keeping the bad news from their young children by spelling things out. It’s the narrative that is captivating here and you become interested in this family (or you don’t; experience may vary)
What you can’t do is to divert the interests of skinny youth in greatcoats to capture the country crowd. Not unless you can do crossover.
At a pinch of red dirt, I’d say there are elements of rockabilly which must be a distant cousin of bluegrass or am I just making that up?
So the move from the tears, which are already streaming in a strange direction, to an apparent escape of some kind – this is not explained – confuses in a way that is then compounded by the words to follow. Sure, there’s a straight reading of these words that serves the concerns of country kind. But it’s the fact that they suggest other readings is distracting in a song that prides narrative engagement. Though they might not phrase it that way.
‘You lent me/rent me/circumvent me’ Is there a place for this in country? No, I would say it was lost. Both the set of meanings in this triplet and the rhythm are suggestive of a more uptempo style and one that doesn’t mind puzzling people as they dance.
It’s not so much that the subject matter is wrong for a country song called “You Can’t Take It Back” so much as the approach to it and the ambiguity; who by the third verse is certain about the role the narrator has in this. Country songs may revel in protecting the feelings of saloon girls and salon guys alike but the listener wants to know which group are being referenced in this song. That is not the kind of trickery that belongs in a country song. There are plenty of other kinds; this is just not one of them.
II
Now, I have written country songs. Or, I have written songs that musician friends have given a country backing, which is similar enough.
If really pushed, I could do a reliable paint-by-numbers take on “You Can’t Take It Back” to make it suitable for any community hall performance. The moped mope of that first song (not a draft as the two snippets are two different takes and unrelated) is humanised a little but perhaps pause over paws for next time.
The idea of giving out things and not being able to reclaim them is good grist for the rustic meal so keep at it.
